More whispers ....

So the next step in the journey is complete.

I got a little more sleep, but woke up with another tension headache knowing what the day would bring.

I chatted with my niece in Edmonton today. She’ll be coming in next Wednesday for the Thursday service.

After breakfast, we got ready to go to the funeral home. We met the family there and we waited for my dad’s casket to be brought to the funeral home.

My Dad arrived shortly after we got there and they pulled the casket from the hearse. It was a nice-blue casket – the same colour as my dad’s 2nd car. He loved blue, red too. My nephew said the casket was “ballin’”(street speak for having money, and in this case, a glitzy casket). That’s my Dad’s style – (ever wonder why I have a jewelry addiction??)

It was an open casket and it was so hard to see my dad laying there. I asked my dad this morning to give me some direction on the pendants – was I to give him one, keep all three, give one to my brother …? I don’t know why, but I decided that I needed to put the male god pendant in his hand and keep the other two. I hope I made the right decision.

He was laying in the outfit that he requested – a red dress shirt, a gray jacket with a red pocket square, and white pants. I also wore red – I knew he would like that. I lost it when I went to the casket, but once I composed myself, I put his cologne on for him. I told him that I knew that he was with me yesterday based on all the signs he sent me. Everyone in the family also put some cologne on him. I always thought my addiction to all things nice-smelling was a result of my 5 years with The Body Shop, but truth be told my addiction started long before I worked for The Body Shop. Every year for my birthday and Christmas, my Dad and Mom would always buy me jewelry for my birthday (usually something blue topaz (my birthstone)), and perfume for Christmas.

We had a service at the funeral home performed by my brother and the temple’s pundit and then went to the actual crematorium. Sounds weird, eh?

In Indian culture, the eldest son is the one who actually starts the fire for the funeral pyre, but since we’re not in India, and things are a little more advanced here, my brother has to push the button to start the cremation. Talk about tough.

The crematorium is located in a rural area and is very much off-the-beaten-path. We had no idea where we were going and the instructions we had were pretty vague, culminating with “it’s near some mailboxes”. As we were driving down the winding road, I said to Darwin (since we were the first ones there)that I didn’t think we were on the right road. Up ahead, there was a goose on the gravel road, and I leaned over, as I normally do, to honk the horn and give the birds a fighting chance against Darwin! I don’t know if this is normal or not, but I’ve never seen a Canadian Goose, singular. They’re ALWAYS in pairs. But this goose was alone. Normally, they get out of the way when we honk, but this goose actually stood at the side of the road and started hissing at us!!! And if that wasn’t enough, he then took flight and started following us down the road!!!!! It HAD to be my Dad telling us we were going the right way!!

We got to the crematorium and had to wait for the casket to arrive. While we were all in the waiting area, I noticed that there was an end table in the corner with a National Geographic magazine with the Eiffel tower on it. My dad took me twice to Paris and would always fondly remember our time at the Eiffel Tower. It had to be another sign. And on the wall, was a native Indian drawing of a bald eagle which was also symbolic because my brother said just a few days prior, a bald eagle had landed in his yard. He apparently has two couples of eagles that nest somewhere on his property, and they usually come together, but this was a sole bald eagle. More signs ….

We had one more set of rituals to complete before he was placed in the furnace. My brother, who never cries, finally broke down and could barely get through it, but managed to. Oddly enough, I didn’t even really cry during that part even though my mom and siblings were all very upset. It wasn’t until my brother hit the button to start the process that it really got to me.

We all went back to my sister’s place for more cooking and dinner, and are planning a family brunch tomorrow at her place while everyone is still here. It started to rain when we got to my sister’s and I’m sure my Dad had a little something to do with that. He held back the rain until we were all done. I think he sent the rain for me – he knows I love the rain, and although I am not an outdoor person, the fastest way to get me outside is to make it rain. Sounds like a corny singles ad, but “I love long walks in the rain” – seriously.

The pundit said that a diya (oil lamp) should be lit each day from now until my Dad’s service to remove darkness and help him on his journey.

Although my Dad is a Hindu and my mom was born a Muslim, I was baptized and confirmed as a Christian, but celebrated all three. I always thought my Dad’s statues were so, well ... strange. Half-man-half-monkey, half-man-half-elephant, goddesses with eight arms … and though I never worshiped in front of one and never had one in my house, I was compelled to pick them up from the hospice yesterday and keep them. Now I know why – I will light the diya in front of the gods each day until his service to ease his journey.

Again, thank you all for the emails, cards, flowers,thoughts, phone calls, condolences, and support. A special thank you to a special someone who honoured my father’s memory today by enjoying a vegetarian lunch.

On that note, I can’t believe that I’ve actually gone two days without meat! Yeah ME! It’s still hard, and takes a LOT more planning than usual. Of course, as with all things Hindu, it’s not as simple as just eating vegetarian – there are also restrictions on what type of vegetarian food (i.e. it can’t be fried, it shouldn’t be cooked in pots/pans that have had meat cooked in them etc). We are doing the best that we can without going to the nth degree. It’s just not feasible for us.

Anyway – back to the kitchen for me. I need to prep some stuff for brunch tomorrow, and then off to bed.

Good night everyone.