As the saying goes, "what a difference a year can make", but I'm not so sure time changes everything.
I can barely believe that this week marks a year since my Dad died.
I've been dreading this week for quite some time, and now it's here, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. The memories of a year ago are as fresh today as if they had just happened today.
I decided to mark my Dad's passing by being vegetarian for the month of April. This time last year, the whole family had to be vegetarian for all of the rituals and ceremonies that needed to be performed. We started the day my Dad died and kept it up for a month. I've decided going forward that I will continue to be vegetarian every April in memory of my dad. It will hopefully act as a reminder to me of the many sacrifices my parents made for their family to provide us all a better life. In some ways I feel it's the least I can do.
The next 48 hours will be pretty tough I think. I've decided to take a vacation day on the 19th - I'm just not sure I'm up to being around people all day, and I'm not convinced that I have enough of a grip on my emotions to not lose it entirely, especially if anyone were to say anything.
I miss my Dad terribly. I miss the calls he'd make for no other reason than to see how I was doing. He had so many pet names for me; Sugarplum, babe, baby, the most beautiful girl in the world, his most beautiful daughter (but I think he said that to all of us), mama, etc I wasn't just "the" baby, I was HIS baby, and he always made me feel like I was the center of his world.
My Dad always told me how proud he was of me, and never missed an opportunity to tell me how much he loved me. hope that if I had the chance to talk to him just one more time, he'd still feel the same way.
