Long overdue update

Hi Everyone,

I know it's been a long time since I've emailed an update.

First - for those that have called, left messages etc and I haven't returned your call - it's not you, it's me. There is just so much going on and little to no time to make as many calls as I need to.

So .... for those that don't know, my Dad was moved out of our family home on Feb 1 due to an increased requirement for medical care. We moved him to Riverview and the first week was pretty rough as WE all knew that he wasn't coming home but we didn't have the courage to tell him.

Exactly one week later we were most fortunate to have a bed open at the Grace Hospice. They offer 24 hour care with nurse/patient ratios of at worst 3 to 1, and at best 1 on 1 care. It's the MOST unbelievable place, and we are SO blessed to have my dad's last weeks in such a caring environment.

We've had MANY challenges over the past two months with my dad, from his lack of compliance at times, his lack of appreciation for the amazing place he's in and the stress that his care has caused and is causing us. My brother and sister, my mom and I have spent as many hours at the hospice as humanly possible, but it never seems to be enough for my dad. That being said, we certainly recognize that he's scared and lonely, and has no idea what to expect.

The whole reason that my dad was moved was due to a pretty "significant" bleed at home from the tumor. It was enough to scare us and enough for us to know that none of us are trained to deal with this type of crisis. He's had a few bleeds since his move to the hospice but nothing "alarming" per se ... until today.

We got a call from the hospice saying that it was a significant bleed (by their standards, not ours) and that they thought it best that the family know and head down to the hospice. In essence, the risk of a full "bleed out" is imminent, and if it were to happen, he'd bleed out in less than 2 minutes. The bleed would happen from his carotid artery, and there would be nothing that the nurses could do other than to try and sedate him to reduce his anxiety. Pretty horrific if you ask me.

In the interim, my parents house has been sold and I've spent the last 3 weekends at the house packing. Darwin and I are also running back and forth between our house, the hospice and my parents' house as I've listed a number of items on Kijiji and have to meet the buyers. The good news is that we're getting rid of most stuff and will hopefully not have to put stuff in storage for my mom.

My mom has moved in with my sister for now, and we are looking into apartments for her. I think my sister and I have concluded that my mom living with either of us wouldn't be good for anyone, but on a temporary basis, it's tolerable.

This by far has been the most stressful weekend, and the "crisis" today was a reminder of just how precariously things hang in the balance right now.

I'll TRY to update weekly, but honestly, by the time Monday night rolls around, I can barely keep my eyes open. I go to the hospice every Monday, Wednesday for about 2 hours before work, Saturdays after work, and Sunday afternoons. I usually stay with him while he eats so that at least he has some company, but it's exhausting and although I need to slow down a bit, it's hard not to feel guilty when I'm not there.

Anyway - thank you all for your emails, calls, and voice mails. I'm NOT ignoring you, but sometimes I just don't have enough energy left over for even a quick phone call - x 10 :)

My promise to all of you is to TRY and update more often, even if it's something short.

Hugs and love to you all.