My brother called me late last night, after I posted my blog, to see how I was doing. He had had my mom and her two sisters out to his farm for the evening for dinner, and had just returned home after dropping them back off in the city. We were just chatting and then he said that he had come to the realization the day previous (Tuesday) that he didn't need to go to the hospice. He said that I was probably feeling the same way because Wednesday was always my day to go. I guess we're all feeling that way - all of this new found time that we have and we're not quite sure what to do with ourselves.
I woke up this morning still apprehensive about what the day would hold. I got some of my stuff together then remembered that it was also daycare day and needed to get Romeo sorted out too.
I got to the daycare around 9:30 and dropped the "baby" off and met Shelley - one of the owners. With everything that's been happening over the past couple of weeks I haven't had the time to take the baby to school, so it was the first time that I've really seen anyone outside of close friends and day-to-day colleagues. Shelley gave me a big hug and said it was nice to see me again.
I got to work shortly before 10 and saw my friend and fellow Team Manager Kevin. Kevin knows better than to get into anything heavy so we kept it light. I was totally fine until another colleague of mine (coincidentally also named Kevin) came over and tried to offer his condolences. He stretched his arms out to hug me and all I could do was keep repeating, "not now, not now, not now" as I backed away from him. I could feel that all too familiar lump in my throat starting to make its appearance, and managed to squeak out, "I'll take a rain cheque on your hug". As soon as he left, I lost it .... I felt so bad for Kevin because I knew that he was doing everything he could to talk about ANYTHING but my Dad. Great job, Kevin! He managed to get me to laugh a bit, and all was good from there.
For the most part, that was the worst of it - nearly everyone simply said, "It's nice to see you back", or "We/I missed you - nice to see you", and the day passed reasonably well.
It was nice to be back at work, and although I feel like so much time has passed, I DID manage to remember my passwords (yeah, me!), and despite 800+ emails, I felt like, for the most past, I was able to pick up where things left off.
After work we went to my sister's place for a postponed Easter dinner. We had originally planned to do Easter dinner at the hospice with my Dad on Good Friday, but of course after everything happened, things changed.
It was nice to see my aunts again before they leave on Saturday to go back to Toronto. Darwin and I got to spend some quality time with my very cool Aunt Madge, and she told us all about her life (when she got married, all about her husband, her move to Canada etc). I have a great appreciation for all of the sacrifices she made for her children and I know they do too. She's so AMAZING! I bought her a small gift as my way of saying "Thank you" - for being here for our family, all of her hard-work with food preparation over the past week, and generally just being such a great person. I'll really miss her, but am thankful that I got to know her so much better on this trip.
Although it's only been one day at work, it does almost feel like it's been a whole week. I'm looking forward to the "weekend" - well MY weekend at least :)
Make it a good one, everyone!
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